Embarrassment

In the Jennifer's Embarrassment section Jennifer had a difficult time understand how Matt would tell his family all the problems that Jennifer and him are having in their relationship. Matt's mom Kelly has a very open relationship along with the rest of Matt's family, and Kelly feels that she always wants to know what is going on in their relationship so that she can help them and give them advice. Another situation Matt had a difficult time understanding why Jennifer if having a hard time, accepting the fact that his mom wants to have Jennifer call her mom as well. 
Jennifer doesn't feel comfortable with that idea, and confides in Matt which takes a lot of courage for her to do, and she thinks that their conversation is between Matt and Jennifer. Later on when Matt and Jennifer go to a dinner at Matt's parents house, Matt discusses with his mother how Jennifer feels uncomfortable about calling Kelly her mother. 
Jennifer is so embarrassed, after that he embarrasses her later as well, when he starts talking about children, and when they want to have children. Jennifer wants to wait, and Matt wants to have kids right away. Everyone in the family starts throwing in their two cents about what they think would be the correct way to handle the situation, and Jennifer runs out of the house mortified. In this situation Matt doesn't understand how Jennifer feels because he grew up in a different environment and they have a very open family, and Jennifer grew up in a very private family and her family never discussed anything. 
So everything they discuss openly is very hard for her to understand. That is why Matt doesn't understand the problem with disclosing information with with his family, and why Jennifer doesn't understand why Matt does disclose information with his family. 

I Need Some Space: Friends through Good Times and Bad Times

In this story Ashley and Jacinta are best friends that have started going to college together and they are learning how to live with each other. One of the concepts that I would like to imply from our class in this module is the relational maintenance. Relational maintenance is defined as; a variety of behaviors used by partners in an effort to stay together. Relationships according to the dialectical perspective; relationships are never completely stable, but are constantly changing, a healthy relationship is a changing relationship. I will be talking about both Relationship maintenance and relationship dialectics. 

Ashley and Jacinta are best friends and they are going through some struggles in order to keep their friendship together. Towards the beginning of the case for about the first four months they are always together. After a while Ashley starts to get tired of Jacinta, and wants to go out and meet some new friends, but she is afraid to tell Jacinta, because she thinks that she will hurt her feelings, this is a good example of the struggle of connection and autonomy in a relationship. In this case she eventually tells Jacinta because Jacinta wants to know what is going on, and why Ashley is avoiding her, this would be a good example of internal manifestation which refers to the tension experienced between relational partners. Jacinta isn't hurt she just wanted to know the truth. In this part of the maintaining the relationship Ashley learned that Jacinta would rather know the truth then be avoided. Together they decided to always tell each other what is going on and the truth, which is one of the ways that they started to maintain their relationship. 

When Ashley starts dating a new guy Steven, Jacinta doesn't really like him, but she finds something important that she feels she needs to tell Ashley. In this part of relationship maintenance she decides what is going to be more effective in their relationship, so she decides to tell Ashley the truth because that is what they decided on, which is a example of expression and privacy a tension in the relationship, and her struggle between which she should do. After Ashley finds out the truth she becomes more trusting of Jacinta for letting her know. The relationship between Ashley and Steve would be an example of external manifestation, which refers to the tensions between a couple and other dyad's or society, including how the couple present themselves to others.

Another example from this case was when Jacinta started dating Ashley's ex Steve. Ashley thought that Jacinta and Ashley were on the same level until Jacinta starts avoiding Ashley and wouldn't tell her what was going on, once again the tension between expression and privacy starts to happen, but shifts in a different way, Jacinta is now private instead of expressing like she did earlier. Eventually she finds out what happened, and she is very upset with Jacinta for not telling her the truth, her trust has been broken, and together they have to slowly maintain and build back up the trust in order for their relationship to be repaired and maintained.