Case Integration

Case Integration

Relationships are very difficult to maintain on some level, and easy on others. What I mean by this is, face work, and the idea that people feel the need to maintain their own identities while incorporating another person, either by choice, or by force (partner vs family). Certain needs must be met in a relationship in order to maintain the relationship properly, negotiation is huge in a relationship, if the two parties cannot agree on something then they are going to have a very difficult time in a relationship together. 

An interpersonal relationship requires that two individuals influence each other in meaningful ways, that they have unique interaction patterns, and that they have repeated interactions over time. Close Relationships have all the features of interpersonal relationships, plus three more. Specifically close relationships are characterized by emotional attachment, need fulfillment and irreplaceability. The closest relationships are characterized by irreplaceability. A interpersonal relationship that was discussed was in the case of Jim, in "Moving up: The Challenges of Communicating a New Social Class Identity". In this particular case, Jim comes from a blue collar family, and working for a very large law-firm. When his 60 days review is up, he goes to his boss Marc, and his boss tells him that he needs to change a lot of things about himself, such as; his clothes, his car, the way he talks etc. Jim is particularly hurt because he doesn't see the difference between himself, and anyone else at the firm. As the story continues, Jim starts to slowly change into someone else. His identity starts to shift, he buys new clothes, and stops swearing. The relationships between Marc and Jim is a interpersonal relationship, they have repeated interactions, and they can influence and change each other over time. A case that would represent close relationships, is the story of Madeline and Martin, in "What's in a Name?". Both Madeline and Martin have very close relationships, they have an interpersonal relationship as well. They have related interactions, but they are also emotionally attached to each other. After Madeline tells Martin that she wants to keep her last name he is hurt, and doesn't know what to do, but he doesn't want to loss her, because he has such a need of fulfillment from her, and she is irreplaceable to him. When he is thinking if maybe Madeline wasn't ready for this engagement he states; but she is the one I want to be with, she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Both of those stories can explain the difference between interpersonal relationships and close relationships. 

The connection among personal, relational, and community identities is something else I learned; personal would relate to identity and how we can change from one relationship to another, identity is a sense of who we are. For example, in the case study; “The Whole Package”, in Ashley's case, she is fully aware of her friends identities, Susie is Japanese American who is highly family oriented, and is very conservative, Heather is highly sexualized and wears things that are very revealing, and Brittany is a fashion fanatic and has her own sense of style, one that is both retro and chic. Although she does know her friends, and what they like and their sense of style, she is confused about her own identity, she questions herself, who is she? This is something that she continues to struggle with throughout the rest of the case. Personal is also involving the enactment layer, which is who we present ourselves to others. The four girls talk a lot about fashion, and body image, and all have their individual image as described above. Within the relational layer, we can't look at Ashley's identity alone without looking at her friends identities too, she is related to them and how they look, dress or act. Heather who is highly sexualized at a young age, because of the influence in the media, sparks a certain amount of concern from Susie, who grew up in a conservative home. The other girls, like Ashley, thinks that she is "sexy" and disagrees with Susie. When we are discussing community identities, Susie and Ashley are quite different and were raised in different households with different beliefs. For example Susie is very close with her mother, she runs marathons with her mother and she loves her family. In Ashley's case she isn't as close with her family, she is even mentions her mother being out of the loop when it came to fashion, and questions; "Why should I listen to what she has to say?". Despite their differences Susie and Ashley are still able to be friends and closely relate to one another, which is a good example of community identity.Those are the differences between; personal, relational, and community identity. 

Relationships are made human interactions, it is through communication in which we form our relationships that is what we mean by communication perspective. All human experience is looked at through a lens, a perspective with which we can view all other things. We make our social worlds by how we communicate, our patterns of interactions matter. In the case of John "Born Again", he views himself as this attractive football super star, he finds himself very outgoing. He thinks he is popular, everyone loves him, he goes partying and drinking all the time, he is the star of the football team and he is on top of the world. Once he gets in a horrible accident with his younger sister, he is told that he will never be able to play football again. The lens that he once viewed himself through is destroyed, and he takes it very hard. He starts to befriend this man named Mark, who is also his physical therapist. Mark is a Christian and shows him "the way to God". He starts to view his identity in a new light, a "new lens" if you will. His sister has to view him through several different lens, such as; the brother she was used to, and now the guy he says he is. He says that he hasn't changed he has just found religion, but she has to view him from a different lens now. 

Power is defined as; "an individual's ability to influence others to do what he or she wants, we well as a person's ability to resist the influence attempts of others". Now just by taking this definition I think that we can apply it to case study number 19, "We'll never be that kind of couple". Emma and Jason have a constant power struggle between the two of them, we well as the next door neighbors. One of the examples of a power struggle is when they get in a fight about Emma becoming friends with her ex on Facebook. Jason gets very up set, and they continue to "one-up" each other through out the conversation, until Jason ends up storming out of the apartment. Agency is defined as; why people often feel the need to "change" their relational partners, so that they fit their conceptions of how a perfect partner should behave." I think within this same case, Emma and Jason's neighbors are also having a power struggle, it seems as though the "he neighbor" as they call him, is trying to change the way the "she neighbor" is acting by violence. Dominance refers to the display or expression of power through behavior, which can relate to almost all the cases that we had to read through this session. In case 20 when Alex starts to dominate Anna, and wouldn't leave her alone with his obsessions, and in case study 18 with Chris and Sandy, trying to win the fight between each other, and dominating one another, because they have the ability with all the knowledge that they know about one another. 

The idea of co-orientation is that two people having a conversation, or they are in a relationship of some sort, have a common goal, or interesting in something in particular with one another. In the case number 20 "Unilateral Union", they begin the story with a common interest in work, and working on a project together. After they are working on the project for a while together, they begin to have a common interesting in one another. Alex finally takes the plunge and asks Anna out on a date like he has been wanting to do. For the first couple months, Anna and Alex have a great time together, and their co-orientation is one another and enjoying each other's company. As time passes, Anna and Alex's co-orientations shift. Anna starts to want to shy away from Alex, she thinks that he is too controlling of her, and she doesn't like it, so she starts to have a co-orientation of avoiding Alex. Alex starts to become more infatuated with her and that is his main co orientation. The relationship cannot work with the two people in the relationship do not have a common orientation with one another, and their interests start to drift. Towards the end of the case study, Alex and Anna have completely drifted apart, Anna finds a new job, and a new boyfriend. Alex's main orientation is revenge, and getting back at Anna for the awful things that he thinks she did to him. 

These are just a few examples of what I have learned in this class. Towards the beginning of this class I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it turned out to be very valuable. One of my favorite things about this class was the idea that the case studies go along with the textbook. I really enjoyed reading the case studies, which were short easy to read stories, and then becoming excited when I realized how what we learned through the text book and lectures applies to those case studies. I than started to realize that these concepts could very well apply to my own life as well. My favorite section was probably the hardest for most people the “hard emotions” I really enjoyed learning about the relationships and its hard emotions. I volunteer at a crisis hotline, Agora, some of you may know what it is, and this really hit home here. I was happy to be able to apply concepts that I had learned about in this section, with some of the people that call the crisis hotline. A lot of the callers have difficulties with domestic violence, and abusive relationships. Not only has this class helped me out with applying concepts to my own person life, and helped me understand specific reasons to certain things, but it has also helped me become a better volunteer, by understanding relationships that could be involved in violence, when callers who call the crisis hotline have a domestic dispute.